Should You Talk to Your Guy About Man Boobs?
It’s a tricky question: if you’ve noticed your man has enlarged breasts, should you bring up the topic?
It may surprise you to hear that, when we counsel a loved one about their man’s gynecomastia in New York or online, we sometimes advise them not to bring it up. If the guy seems content with his life and enjoys a full range of activities, it may mean he does not find the condition bothersome. If the two of you are very open with each other you may feel at ease in broaching the subject anyway—if you do, make sure you don’t give the impression that man boobs bother you.
When to Bring up the Boobs
As you can imagine, however, many guys are not at peace with their man boobs. Unlike other body features that may be less than desirable—such as an obvious birthmark, a prominent scar or even baldness—moobs often seem to have the effect of undermining a man’s masculinity. In our thirty years of specializing in gynecomastia in New York, we’ve found that not a lot of guys feel ok about having breasts like a woman (which is what the term “gynecomastia” actually means).
Here are signs that may indicate your partner is distressed because of his moobs:
• People bring attention to his chest, perhaps even teasing him. If others point out your guy’s man boobs, it probably bothers him even if he tries not to show it. Adults suffer ill effects from unwanted attention, not just kids.
• He avoids situations where his chest may be noticed. This can mean he’s reluctant to work out, swim, play golf and engage in other physical activities, and his fitness may suffer.
• He may wear inappropriate layers of clothes. When guys wear sweatshirts or jackets in our muggy summers in New York, gynecomastia is frequently the culprit.
• His isolation may worry you. When a man’s life is severely impacted by his moobs, he may withdraw from social activities almost completely, and may even seem shut down in your relationship.
Your Role
If you notice some of these factors, you may wonder why your guy doesn’t take action. We can tell you with a high degree of confidence that men don’t tend to consider “fixing” a problematic body feature as readily as women do. We’ve treated hundreds and hundreds of men with gynecomastia in New York who profess that they’re just not “the type” to seek cosmetic surgery—whatever that is!
It’s not our habit to convince anyone that cosmetic surgery is the right move. But for people who truly suffer because of enlarged breasts, men or women, electing breast reduction seems like a logical move to us. When you find a good time to talk with your guy, here are some points you can consider making:
• In a typical year, more than 20,000 men undergo gynecomastia surgery
• The surgical site is outside the body cavity, just beneath the skin, and risks are generally quite low
• Most guys can be back to work in a few days; there’s no need to let people know about the procedure
• In the hands of a highly-experienced man boob surgeon, such as one from this list, good results can be expected
More Information for You
As you get ready to talk to your guy about his condition, you’ll want to be sure you have the basics down. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons has a comprehensive piece on gynecomastia—you can start there. You can also visit RealSelf to find out that over 95% of patients report being satisfied with their procedure; you can also read reviews on RealSelf.
We also suggest visiting gynecomastia.org and getting acquainted with the forums there. Real men discuss many man boob-related issues with their peers on the site and the conversations can be quite illuminating. We also invite you to check out our website devoted to man boobs and the guys who struggle with them.
At some point you may feel comfortable suggesting a no obligation, in-person consultation with a board certified plastic surgeon who’s a gynecomastia specialist—one who performs many dozens, if not hundreds, of man boob patients annually. We would be delighted to meet you and your partner. Just give us a call at 212-570-6080.
